


when you touch me i die

by king_wizard



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Porn, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Jensen, Dirty Talk, First Time, First Time Bottoming, M/M, Oral Sex, Pornstars, Riding, Rimming, Slightly creeper Jared, Top Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-05 02:04:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1088318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/king_wizard/pseuds/king_wizard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen’s never bottomed – in the studio or his bed – but there’s a first time for everything. </p><p>(Fill for Working Hard for the Money prompt asking for pornstar!Jensen bottoming for newbie!pornstar!Jared for the first time.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	when you touch me i die

**Author's Note:**

> For somersault_j’s [prompt](http://transfixeddream.livejournal.com/147309.html?thread=3955309#t3955309) at the Working Hard for the Money meme, requesting pornstar!Jensen bottoming for newbie!pornstar!Jared. 
> 
> Title and fluff inspired by Lady Gaga’s [Venus](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nP3ctBs3510). I apologize that this took approximately 1 million years to write. This is a ridiculous amount of porn lol and I hope somersault_j and the rest of y’all enjoy it!

Lunch has already been lain out by the time Jensen arrives on-set. He’s late – not by much – but it's enough to throw him off his already shaking game.  
  
He can’t find Jeff in his trailer. Jim is on vacation, and wouldn’t know anything more about Jay Padalecki than Jensen does. He doubts anyone else will know, either: this is Jay's first film with J-Gantic Productions, after all.  
  
Hell, it could be Jay's first film period. The perfunctory Google search Jensen ran last night yielded zero results. No one in porn has a non-existent internet presence.  
  
His stomach is cool and his muscles are quietly tensed as he makes his way to make-up.  
  
Alona is laughing as Genevieve spins the tales of last night’s scandals. He doesn’t interrupt them as he slides into the make-up chair; he just sits and waits quietly for Alona’s slender hands to stop shaking from giggles.  
  
“You should’ve come out with us, Al,” Genevieve is saying as Alona reaches for the concealer that will hide the dark circles under his eyes – the signs that he’s human. “You too, Jen.”  
  
He smiles. “You know I’m not really into that scene.”  
  
“You need to get out more, babe,” Alona says. “Close your eyes.”

“You really do. You need to have some more fun. Plus, you could’ve met your scene partner.”  
  
Jensen’s eyes snap open.  
  
“Jen! Fucking Christ, I almost stabbed you in the eye with this.”  
  
“You know Jay Padalecki?”  
  
Genevieve scrunches her nose. “Jay Padalecki? That’s gonna be his stage name? Lame.” In response to Jensen’s blank blinks, she adds, “His real name’s Jared.”  
  
“Who is he?” Jensen asks immediately. Relief is already flooding his system, easing the knots in his stomach and brain. Genevieve has been at the company longer than he has, and she's been a steady hand on his shoulder since his first day. He trusts her word, her judgment, as much as Jeff's and Jim's and Sterling's. "What's he been in?"  
  
“He's a guy, Jen. He's been in...uh, internet stuff, mostly." Jensen opens his mouth, but Genevieve cuts through his words before he even speaks them. "And before you start bitching, no, he’s not a complete newbie. I promise you won’t have to show him what his dick is for.”  
  
-  
  
The lounge appears empty. Jensen’s plan is to lie on the couch, close his eyes and power his brain down for a few minutes, then find Jeff and demand a list of titles and a head shot.  
  
The lounge isn’t empty.  
  
Jensen doesn’t notice as he strolls to the vending machine, but he does when the bottled water rumbles then falls into the delivery bay.  
  
“Shit!”  
  
The curse startles a breath from Jensen and he whips to his right to see a giant unfurling from the couch.  
  
A splotch in the pattern of the couch’s roughly woven fabric is blooming on a smooth cheek, and shaggy, chestnut hair is curling chaotic around a clean-shaven jaw, and man-crushing hands are rubbing sleepily over slanted eyes.  
  
“Sorry,” the giant mutters as he presses his palms to his eyes. “Didn’t mean to startle you, dude. I just – holy shit!”  
  
Hazel eyes are wide open, now, watching Jensen with dawn rising awe.  
  
“Holy shit, it’s – you’re – you’re you!”  
  
“Uh...yeah. I sure am.”  
  
A grin breaks, sun bright and blinding, and dimples bloom sweet and stomach fluttering as honeysuckle. Jensen finds himself falling into a responsive smile.  
  
“I mean, you’re Jensen. Jensen Ackles. You’re him.”  
  
“Yeah. The Jensen Ackles.” He tries to grin around the words, tries to laugh at his own strange, looming reputation. He coughs. “Sorry, I don’t guess we’ve met? You are - ?”  
  
The man just blinks at him, as if Jensen’s presence has devoured his oxygen and called a synapse cease-fire in his brain.  
  
“Wow,” the man chuckles. He rubs a hand over the back of his neck, eyes on the ground and red on his cheeks and dimples digging like trenches or something sharp; it’s endearing. “Sorry. I kind of forgot how to brain for a second. You’re, uh…” The flush of his cheeks bites deeper. “You’re more beautiful in person. I didn’t even – I totally was not prepared for you to be even more beautiful in person.”  
  
Jensen doesn't know what to say. He's been called many things; beautiful has never been one of them.  
  
“Um, sorry. I guess I’m just a little star-struck. You probably get it all the time, huh?”  
  
“Uh…no. Not really.”  
  
Surprise blows hazel eyes wide. “Seriously? Dude. I figured like every new guy you worked with just tripped over his dick as soon as he saw you.”  
  
Jensen laughs.  
  
“I’m Jared, by the way.”  
  
If Jensen had water in his mouth, he would spit it out.  
  
“You’re Jay Padalecki?”  
  
The guy – Jay, Jared – smiles, sheepish and young and in utter contrast to his massive features and stance.  
  
“Yeah. Not too disappointed, are you?”  
  
Jensen drags his gaze from Jared’s hair – too long, but Jensen can work with it – to his feet – massive in brown boots. When their eyes meet again, black is blending into green-gold-warmth, and Jensen feels the butterfly beat of a smile on his face and heat in his belly.  
  
“No,” he says, and he’s not lying, not even a little. “I’m not disappointed at all.”  
  
-  
  
Jensen buys Jared a Coke and a package of Skittles. Jared bounces on his heels, stands too close. When Jensen turns to hand him the candy, they bump chests.  
  
Color is on Jared’s cheeks again. A buzz is in Jensen’s neck.  
  
Was Jared...sniffing him?  
  
“Thanks,” Jared says cheerfully. “I’ll totally pay you back.”  
  
“It was two bucks, dude.”  
  
Jared shrugs, still smiling, and sinks into the couch opposite from the one he was sleeping on earlier. “I don’t like owing people.”  
  
Jensen smiles. “I can respect that.”  
  
“You want some Skittles?” Jared asks before tearing the package open with his teeth.  
  
“No thanks.” Jensen pats his belly, and Jared’s eyes fall to where his hand settles on his stomach, and Jared’s tongue darts across his lips. Jensen thinks of moving his hand away; he doesn’t. “I gotta keep up my girlish figure.”  
  
“But...Skittles!” Jared pours a giant pawful into his palm then shovels the haul into his mouth. “Skittles are my favorite,” Jared says around a rainbow sticky mouthful. “What’s your favorite candy?”  
  
Jebarn can't not laugh then, because Jared is more mountain than man on the outside, but clearly his brain was switched with a 5-year-old’s. “I don’t have a favorite.”  
  
Jared tilts his head as if he doesn’t understand what Jensen’s saying.  
  
“So you like…all candy equally?”  
  
“I’m not really a candy person.”  
  
Jared furrows his brow. It’s adorable, and when Jensen chuckles, it’s with warmth.  
  
“I don’t like sweet stuff.”  
  
Immediately, Jared quips, “Must be because you’re so sweet yourself.”  
  
“Oh my God.” Jensen runs a hand over his face as Jared’s laughter grows. “How old are you? I’m not about to do something illegal, am I?”  
  
“I’m 26.”  
  
The number sends a groan through Jensen’s bones.  
  
“God. I feel old as fuck.”  
  
“You can’t seriously think you’re old, man.”  
  
Jensen shrugs, shakes his head, settles further into the couch.  
  
“I was 24. When I started doing this, I mean.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
Jared says it quick and confident – too quick, too confident. Jensen shifts.  
  
Flutter of color back on his cheeks, Jared offers a soft smile. “I – uh, I’m a big fan. Sorry. Am I weirding you out? I’m not – I’m not like a stalker, or a creep, or anything. I’m just, uh, enthusiastic, about your work. I’ve seen everything you’ve ever made.” He winces. “That sounds a little creepy.”  
  
“No,” Jensen says, heat curling like an unwelcome hand on his neck. “That’s – uh. Flattering?”  
  
“Welcome to the Jungle was the first gay porn I ever saw,” Jared says in a rush.  
  
It’s Jensen’s turn to wince, then.  
  
“And you were just…” There is a reverent tone breathing in Jared’s voice. “I mean, there were like six guys with the hugest cocks I’d ever seen, saying all this filthy stuff, doing all this filthy stuff, and I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”  
  
Words and air and color drain from Jensen. He has to look away from the earnest, raw awe in Jared’s face and voice.  
  
“Sorry. That – wow. That definitely made me sound like a creeper.”  
  
Jared’s running a hand through his hair, biting his lip, tapping his foot. Jensen’s instinct is to soothe his nerves: to ignore the strange feeling twisting in his gut, the flush creeping over his skin, the knot forming in his brain.  
  
“It’s cool,” Jensen says softly. “You really are, uh, enthusiastic, huh?”  
  
“It’s totally not my fault. You’re like… I thought you were CGI or something, at first, because I was like, no way is someone that gorgeous and that incredible at acting. No way can someone have those lips, that dick, and those skills.”  
  
A laugh is pulled from somewhere deep in Jensen’s chest.  
  
“Sorry, I – I’ll stop talking now – ”  
  
Shaking his head, Jensen reaches to pat Jared’s jutting shoulder. “No, it’s fine. I just. No one’s ever focused on my acting before. That’s not really the most sought after skill for a porn star, y’know?”  
  
“Really?” Jared frowns. “I mean - you’re an amazing actor. You could do real movies. Like, Oscar movies. I can’t believe you don’t have like a million Oscars.”  
  
Jensen snorts. “Yeah, well, I appreciate the sentiment man, but I don’t think Twinks for Christmas is gonna be nominated for an Academy Award anytime soon.”  
  
“I loved that one.” Jared sounds wistfu, fond: familiar.  
  
The look on Jared’s face is disconcerting. It’s far too close to the awed expression Matt, one of the many boys of J-Gantic Productions Jensen has helped break in, wears when he and Jensen are scheduled to work together. The familiarity and warmhearted smiles aren’t as strange from Matt, of course, because they’ve known each other for years. Jared’s only known him ten minutes.  
  
Maybe this guy is a creep.  
  
“So,” Jensen asks, licking his lips, heat biting his belly as Jared stares intently at his mouth. “This your first time doing a feature?”  
  
The question snaps Jared’s attention. “Oh. Uh. Yeah. I mean, I’ve never worked with like, professional professionals before or anything.”  
  
“You have done this before though, right?” Jensen asks slowly. “Like with the cameras and the lights and the people?”  
  
“Oh,” Jared says with a quick nod. “Yeah. Of course. Just never anything as big as this. As big as you – I mean, uh. You know what I mean.”  
  
Jensen nods, but his brain is skipping train tracks and his heart is skipping beats.  
  
“I promise I know what I’m doing.”  
  
Jensen has let his eyes drift to the floor. He lets them drift back to Jared’s face.  
  
“Look, I know I seem like a big idiot, and I mean, I pretty much am. But I can act. And I won’t stutter or freak out about how awesome you are or babble when we get on camera. You don’t have to worry.”  
  
“I wasn’t – I’m not worried.”  
  
“You don’t have to be irritated, either. I mean I can – shit, I can leave you alone, let you get into the zone or whatever, or just give you space. But I promise I won’t be awful. I’ll – I’m good at this. I swear.”  
  
There are no frayed nerves twirling around Jared’s words; only confidence, sure and swift and steady. Jensen allows himself to breathe.  
  
“Do you – I mean, I meant what I said, about giving you space – ”  
  
“No,” Jensen interrupts quickly. “I like to get know a guy a little before I put my dick in his ass.”  
  
“Cool.” Jared takes a gulp of his Coke. Jensen doesn’t try not to watch the way his throat moves. “So, can I ask you a question now?”  
  
"Sure."  
  
“Why don’t you ever bottom?”  
  
The question doesn’t surprise him.  
  
“Guys are dumb.” Jared coughs on a shocked little laugh and his next gulp of Coke. Jensen continues with a wry grin. “Even when they have someone directing them, telling them exactly how to fuck someone, most guys can’t even pretend to make it look good. I’ve never met a dude who I think can pull it off.”  
  
“Damn.” Jared’s smiling too, shaking his head. He’s about to take another swig when his hand stops in mid-air. “Wait. So – wait. You’ve never - ? Even in real life, you’ve never bottomed?”  
  
“Nah,” Jensen answers. “I mostly – I’m a monogamous kind of guy, and I pretty much just date women. I had a couple of boyfriends, when I was younger, but dudes are selfish assholes.”  
  
Jensen expects Jared to be grinning, ready to laugh, ready to pop a joke or claim that all men are not selfish, why doesn’t Jensen meet up with him after, let him show Jensen just how good some guys can be…  
  
But when Jensen looks at him, Jared isn’t smiling, holding a chuckle, and he doesn’t look like he’s going to be speak. He looks sad.  
  
“Jared?”  
  
“I just can’t believe – I mean.” He runs his hand through his hair again. “How could any guy be an asshole to you? You’re – How can anyone not treat you like - ?”  
  
“Hey, hey.” Jensen pats Jared’s knee. “I’m not complaining.”  
  
“Yeah, but they should have – someone should have – ”  
  
“Calm down, big guy.” Jared bites his lip, so Jensen sighs and bumps their shoulders together. “I’m fine. And you said you were a professional.”  
  
After several moments, Jared says, “Yeah. I told you. I’m good at this.”  
  
-  
  
They slide from question to question.  
  
Jensen learns that Jared just graduated with a bachelor’s in Creative Writing, has a large extended family, and was born and raised in Montana. Jensen tells Jared about his first movie, admits he prefers books to movies, and lists his top 10 albums of all time.  
  
They’re talking about movies, and Jared is singing Men in Tights and making Jensen choke on his water, when Ty steps him.  
  
“Oh, good, you two have met. Jay? I’m ready to prep you. Jeff said Misha had some last minute changes to the scene if you wanna head to set Jen.”  
  
Jensen rolls his eyes. “Misha and his scenes,” he sighs to Jared, who smiles in response. “See you in a few, man.”  
  
He grips Jared’s knee for a moment longer than he means before pushing himself off the couch.  
  
-  
  
Scene One  
  
The opening is just Jensen, shirtless, sockless, soft jeans curling around his ankles. His palm is warm against his half-hard cock. It's not too full, not too fat, under the roll of his fingers, and it's honestly his favorite kind of scene to do. It's so easy to close his eyes, let the lights and breathing and world fade as he strokes himself.  
  
A knock at the set door is Jensen's cue to sigh.  
  
"Coming!" he shouts. He glances at his crotch, thinks about how cheesy his line is, and smiles to himself. "Or I was."  
  
He shuffles to the set door. Jared is wringing his hands when he opens it. His eyes are wide and wet, sharp with sadness.  
  
"Tommy?" he asks softly. "Hey, what's wrong?"  
  
"Sarah - " Jared chokes, then bites his lip. "Can I - Luke, can I just - can I come in?"  
  
Jensen moves aside to let Jared through the fake threshold. Jared immediately starts pacing.  
  
"Tommy. What - ?"  
  
"She was fucking cheating on me," Jared bites. His fists and jaw are clenched in anger, but his eyes hold nothing fierce when he gazes at Jensen. "I walked in and she was riding the god damn mailman. Reverse cowgirl and everything." He laughs, bitter, and pulls at his hair. "Said that never felt intimate enough for her. Guess she doesn't need intimate when she's fucking the god damn mailman."  
  
Jared's emotion is so real, so raw. He's incredible. If anyone should be getting an Oscar, it should be him.  
  
"Tommy," he whispers. "Man. I'm so fucking sorry."  
  
"She said - you know what she fucking said to me? She said she faked it. Not just the sex. Everything."  
  
Jensen moves to squeeze his shoulder comfortingly. One of Jared's mitt sized hands slides to settle on top of it, squeezing back. It's not scripted.  
  
"Well, bitch doesn't know I was faking it too."  
  
Jared huffs then stalks to the bed. Jensen follows him.  
  
"You need a place to crash for a while? I know my place isn't much, but you're welcome here as long as you need."  
  
"Luke, dude, you don't have to - "  
  
"I want to." Jensen sits next to Jared, so close their body heat mingles and crashes. He lays his hand on Jared's knee. "Seriously. It's no problem."  
  
"Thank you, man, so much. I just - I can't believe she... How the fuck could she have cheated on me? If - if anything, I should've been cheating on her. You know I only got like five blow jobs in two years of dating?"  
  
Jensen winces. "That sucks." Jared shoots him an un-amused glance. "Or doesn't suck, actually. Sorry."  
  
Jared snorts then cradles his head in his hands. Jensen rubs his palm between Jared's shoulder blades; Jared shudders underneath his touch.  
  
"Why does it hurt so bad?" Jared whispers, sounding truly lost. "Why does - she never made me feel anything but bad, so why does this hurt so fucking bad?"  
  
The line is Jensen's queue to shift from comforting with his words to, as Misha so eloquently phrased it, comforting with his dick.  
  
Jensen licks his lips. He brushes his fingertips over the top of Jared's spine, travels across his shoulder blade, to pet his hair. Jared leans into the touch.  
  
"Tommy. Hey, man. Look at me. C'mon."  
  
Jared raises his head. He looks wrecked. Jensen doesn't understand the pride that glows in his chest, but he does understand the relief. Jared is good at this.  
  
He cups Jared's jaw with one hand, thumb tracing over his cheek. Jared swallows, watches him as if he doesn't understand what Jensen's offering but desperatey needs it.  
  
"Luke?"  
  
"Shh," Jensen whispers. He skims his knuckles over Jared's face. "You said she always made you feel bad?" Jared nods, and Jensen smiles as soothingly as he can. "Then let me make you feel good."  
  
He leans in for a kiss that Jared is supposed to dance away from. Jared does, pulling away with a soft breath.  
  
"Luke... I don't, I'm not - "  
  
"Shh," Jensen repeats.  
  
This time, when he moves forward, Jared meets him.  
  
The kiss is soft at first. It's supposed to be Jared's first with a guy, and Jensen is supposed to care about Jared, is supposed to want to stitch his wounds together with softness and pleasure. So Jensen moulds his mouth cloud soft, moves his lips over Jared's in brushes and sighs.  
  
When Jared's hands flutter on his throat, Jensen's fingertips slide to grip Jared's chin. Obediently but hesitantly, Jared opens his mouth further. He tastes like Skittles.  
  
Jared moans. It's too loud. It's too deep. It's over-exaggerated, even for porn, but it's not an act. Jared's palms are sweaty against Jensen's skin, and his lips are trembling, and he can only sit passively as Jensen licks into his candy mouth for a few moments before his own tongue, wet and thick and sweet, tangles with Jensen's.  
  
Jensen moans then, too, and it's startling because it's deep and dark and honest.  
  
He tangles his fingers into Jared's hair and suddenly, strangely, it almost feels like they’re kissing for real.  
  
Heat is rising quick and fierce through Jensen's body. It’s been years since he felt a genuine spark ignite from a kiss, even a kiss as deep and dirty as the one Jared is bruising into his mouth, and his cock hasn’t ached for a scene partner since those first movies he did.  
  
Jensen is going to pull away, shake himself back into Luke's headspace, but Jared's sweet, tempting tongue sweeps over his own. Jared kisses him deep and desperate and chaotic. Jensen can feel Jared's tongue sliding across his cheek, in the marrow of his bones, and all he can do is open his jaw wider and let Jared swallow his groan.  
  
Jared makes a soft noise when Jensen's fingertips brush his nipples under his shirt. Jensen curls his tongue around the sound, drinks it, and feels dizzy.  
  
When he tries to slide his mouth away, though, one of Jared's huge hands shoots to cradle his skull, stilling him as Jared's teeth glide over his bottom lip.  
  
It's a little more than startling. Jensen's supposed to be the teeth here, the holding hands and hungry mouth.  
  
Then Jensen is moving. He doesn't remember telling himself to crawl into Jared's lap. It isn't until he's fully settled, hard-on pressed flush against Jared's stomach, Jared's hot dick pulsing under his ass, that he realizes Jared's moved both of them.   
  
Jensen's hands land on Jared's chest, fluttering and unsure. He’s always the one sitting a boy in his lap, always the one manhandling bodies. For some inexplicable reason, though, he can’t bring himself to change their positions; can’t picture Jared's bulky, model carved body looking as natural or tender or hot in his lap, not the way he must look settle on Jared's muscled thighs.  
  
And, fuck, imagining what they must look like, the way his skin must look malleable as clay under Jared's hands, makes it more real than feeling it; makes it better and slicker, makes his cock give a hungry throb.  
  
It makes the want thrumming through him more real; not an act, not a show, but a hot, real wave of want.  
  
The unsettling chill is back in his skin, but he can't stop the shoot because he's starting to actually want his co-star. So Jensen breathes deep and tweaks Jared's nipples. Jared makes a soft noise and Jensen takes the opportunity to de-tangle their tongues and breathe.  
  
"Luke," Jared pants, trying to get back into his mouth.  
  
"How does that feel?" he whispers, voice husky. He sounds like he's had Jared's cock in his throat instead of just his tongue and spit.  
  
"So good, fuck, Luke."  
  
Jensen wriggles back, leaving enough space to tug at the bottom of Jared's t-shirt. After Jensen wrestles it away and drops it, Jared pulls him into another deep kiss. Jensen brings his thumbs to Jared's nipples, raking his nails teasingly over them.  
  
"You like that, huh?"  
  
"Yeah," Jared repeats, before cupping as much of Jensen's ass as he can in both hands and rocking him forward, sliding Jensen along the thick line of his cock.  
  
Jensen, too startled and dazed to do anything else, lets him. He rides the press of Jared's cock and the hot air of arousal that slams into him. He's never been moved like this, manhandled and forced to feel the pleasure along with his scene partner. It's foreign, new, but not uncomfortable. The heat, the pressure, the slide of denim, feels…good; better than good, really, and Jensen lets out a shaky moan as Jared bucks against him.  
  
Confused by his own reaction, his own pleasure, Jensen lets Jared grip and move and kiss him deeper.  
  
Jared pulls away from the kiss to mouth, "Do you?" against Jensen's jaw.  
  
Jensen doesn't know what he's asking - the question wasn't in the script - but then one of Jared's hands slides to his own nipple.  
  
Jensen gasps. Jared sucks the noise down and rolls Jensen's nipple between his forefinger and thumb. Jensen jerks, moans high and ridiculous. Jared's other hand, spread wide and huge on his lower back, holds him steady as Jared pinches him again.  
  
"You really like that, huh?"  
  
Jensen doesn't know what to do. This isn't the script. This isn't Luke soothing Tommy's pain with his cock. This is Jared playing with Jensen's body the way it's never been played with before.  
  
Then Jeff is saying, "I don't think this is working."  
  
Jared's fingers still on Jensen's chest, but he doesn't pull them away. He blinks slowly, as if he's been drugged, lost in the same opium haze of pleasure Jensen has.  
  
"Jen - ?" he starts, then shakes his stupor. "Luke."  
  
Then Misha is saying, "No. This is fucking magical." Then Misha is yelling, "You guys are fucking magical! I love Tommy trying to make Luke feel as good as Luke is making him feel. I can see that. Good character choice, Jay."  
  
"But that's not what people pay to see - " Jeff starts to argue.  
  
"People want to see two smokin' dudes fuck. Besides, we're always getting e-mails asking if Jenny's ever gonna bottom. We can at least let him get a little attention."  
  
"How do you feel about a creative change, Jen?" Jeff calls.  
  
Jensen doesn't know.  
  
"Hey," Jared says softly. "I'm - sorry. I didn't mean to. I just - I just wanted to make this is as good for you as it was for me."  
  
Jensen licks his lips; tastes Jared. He’s never been great at improvisation; he tends to react as himself first, then his character. Sometimes it works. Most of the time it doesn't.  
  
He thinks this is going to be a time it doesn’t.  
  
“Are you – ?” Jensen begins. “Are you sure?”  
  
“Look, Jenny, if you don’t want to switch it up a bit, that’s fine.” Misha’s smile is sincere, voice clear.  
  
“No it’s – it’s fine. I just – you know I’m not good at improv."  
  
“Just follow the script,” Misha says gently. “You’re still in control, here. Luke's still going to show Tommy the wondrous healing power of gay sex. He's just gonna get a little more action than we talked about at first. But that makes sense, don't you think?”  
  
When Jensen doesn't answer, Misha adds, “We’ll keep it simple, okay? You blow him, he blows you, you rim him – ” Jensen’s eyes flash. “ – and then you fuck him. You're still top dog here.”  
  
Slowly, Jensen nods.  
  
“Okay, Jay? You got that?”  
  
“Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.”

-

Scene Two  
  
They begin with Jensen in Jared’s lap again. Jared's hands flutter along his sides before those thick fingers rub back to his nipples; Jared's mouth finds him again, falling into the same deep rhythm as before. The heat between them edges the anxiety Jensen still feels, and he kisses back.  
  
Jensen was supposed to suck Jared off next, but now that they’re supposed to blow each other, he isn't exactly sure how to move, what to wait for.  
  
Then Jared yanks him closer by the grip on his nipples, making it a little more than difficult to plan the logistics of getting his dick sucked.

Jared breaks the kiss after what feels like hours. Jensen's tongue is tingling numb and he can smell their mingled spit around his mouth. And he wants more; wants to keep sucking on Jared’s tongue and tasting his candy mouth.  
  
But this isn’t about what he wants. Frustration rolls along his desire, and he's reminded why he's always tried to seperate himself from want while he's on camera.  
  
Jensen readies himself to give his line and slide down Jared's body, but before he can speak Jared drops his head to suck Jensen's nipple between his teeth.  
  
"Shit," Jensen pants.  
  
Electricity is humming loud enough to drown him as Jared starts to tongue the flesh he's biting. Jensen can't stop the way his hips move, bumping his throbbing cock against Jared's ridiculous abs. The movement presses Jared's cock further into the clothed crease of his ass, and Jensen doesn’t even care; the feeling of Jared hot and hard underneath him just heightens the pleasure.  
  
"Tommy," he breathes past the overwhelming sensations. "Wanna - wanna make you feel good."  
  
"Are," Jared says.  
  
Jensen has to dip down, nip at Jared's chin until Jared pulls away. When Jared surges forward to kiss him again, Jensen doesn't let him. "You said she never blew you?" Jensen whispers, watching the hungry way Jared watches him. "Let me make it up to you."  
  
Once Jared's pants have been shimmied past his ankles, Jensen has to take a silent moment to just breathe, to take in Jared’s obscene, almost violently fat and long cock. He has to bite his lip to keep from bending forward to lap at Jared’s dick, blood red and blood hot, that he knows would feel blood rich on his tongue.  
  
He doesn't know what's wrong with him. He's never been fucking thirsty for cock. It can't just be Jared, he thinks, licking his lips as Jared's fat, flushed cock bobs in the air. It can't just be Jared making him feel too small for his skin and wanton.  
  
"Touch me, man," Jared pants.  
  
"Want my mouth?" Jensen asks, and Jared groans. "I'll eat you so good, Tommy, better than she ever did. Swallow that gorgeous fucking cock. Eat out that gorgeous fucking ass."  
  
Jensen leans in, mouths the soft skin at the side of Jared's knee before he starts moving sloppily up. Jared’s hands glide over Jensen's hair. It's not long enough for Jared to grip but Jared doesn't try to curl his fingers in the strands and yank Jensen closer; he just soothes his fingers over Jensen's hair, petting him.  
  
Jensen has to pause against Jared's thigh. The fingers are sending waves of soft, comforting pleasure through Jensen's throat and he can't breathe around them.  
  
He suddenly feels small and oddly tender under Jared's mountainous, gentle hands.  
  
Which doesn't make any sense. It's just a pat on the head from a guy he's going to blow. On camera. For money. There is nothing tender between them.  
  
Then Jared is whispering, "So gorgeous, can't believe - fuck."  
  
Something about the words, maybe the way Jared says them, maybe the way Jared has started cupping Jensen's neck with one hand while petting with the other, has Jensen moving from between Jared's thighs to his mouth. He kisses Jared to shut him up, to stop his movements, to get back on script - and because he wants to; because it feels right.  
  
"Naked," Jared says in a low rush when their tongues finally part. "Naked, wanna see you, bet you're so fucking beautiful - "  
  
Jensen lets Jared slide his jeans off. "God damn," Jared murmurs when Jensen’s throbbing cock bobs free.  
  
His hands are all over Jensen again, manhandling him again until he's on his back with his knees spread and his cock curving against his belly, straining and starved for touch.  
  
Jared's palms slide over his hipbones and he breathes against Jensen's skin, moist and hot along Jensen's cock. Jensen hitches his hips, squirming like an awkward virgin who can't decide if the sensation is too much or if he wants more.  
  
"Let me," Jared breathes, spreading another tease of pressure over Jensen's cockhead.  
  
Jensen doesn't get a chance to ask let you what? before Jared leans forward and kisses, sloppy-hot-open-mouthed kisses, the head of Jensen's cock.  
  
The head Jensen gets from his co-stars has never made him see stars. It's all for show, not for sensation. The head he gets off-set isn't much better; his girlfriends assume they don't have anything on the porn stars he's had on his cock, so they suck him down, never to the base, and lick at him until they're ready to slide on top.  
  
But Jared's tongue is wet with as much of Jensen's spit as his own, and it's soft and hot enough to make Jensen pant for more when Jared pulls away to shift on his knees.  
  
This isn’t the same goofy, grinning guy he met in the lounge earlier. It can’t be.  
  
Jared grins up at him, wicked heat and predatory eyes, before leaning to lap at his cock. Jensen keeps whimpering at every touch of Jared’s sinful, silk tongue. Once Jensen’s dick is dripping, once desperation is starting to grow teeth in his stomach, Jared slips his lips over the swollen head.  
  
Jared takes him in slowly, and Jensen is suddenly grateful he's never wanted a co-star so badly before; trying to stay in character when all he wants is Jared to take him the way Jared clearly can, is actual, legitimate torture.  
  
Jared sucks him gently for a few moments. To the camera, he must seem nervous, unsure; inside his mouth, his tongue is nothing but confident and eager. Every deep, open-mouthed groan the wet heat pulls from Jensen is his own, no trace of Luke in the way he pants and squirms.  
  
Slow and steady, Jared eases away from his cock. Jensen doesn't know if he wants to cry in frustration or cry because he's let himself become so frustrated, so wanton, like a virgin whore.  
  
"Th-thought you'd never done this before," Jensen pants.  
  
"I'm just a natural." Jensen’s instinct is to roll his eyes, huff a laugh, and he does. Apparently it's the wrong - right? - move, because it sparks something in Jared. His nostrils flare as he adds, “And you’re just easy,” breath fanning over Jensen’s balls.  
  
Jensen’s head falls back into the pillows.  
  
“You’re so sensitive,” Jared says quietly, lips brushing over the meat of Jensen’s thigh, cheek nestled against Jensen’s sac. “Could I make you come like this?”  
  
“Wanna come inside you,” Jensen breathes, trying to pull their train back to the tracks as much as he’s trying to distract Jared from stretching the torture farther.  
  
Jared smiles before sliding his palms to the back of Jensen’s knees. He yanks, like it’s nothing, and guides Jensen’s calves over his shoulders. Before Jensen can protest or process the wave of fire that echoes through his entire body at being manhandled again, Jared presses his tongue just behind Jensen’s balls and licks a so-good-it-hurts line to the tip of his cock.  
  
Jared licks until Jensen’s thighs are trembling. A please is on Jensen's lips and he bites his tongue. He squirms, tries to push his cock against Jared’s mouth, but all the movement does is raise his hips, positioning him so Jared's next lick sweeps over the swell of his ass.  
  
His legs freeze around Jared’s shoulders. Jared doesn’t freeze at all. A noise just falls from his mouth before he slides down further to lick between Jensen’s slightly spread ass cheeks.  
  
“Always thought this would be so gross but God, you taste so fucking good.”  
  
Someone should be calling cut. Someone should be telling Jared that no one eats Jensen Ackles’ ass. No one is talking.  
  
When Jared’s tongue sweeps dangerously close to his hole, he’s sure Jared’s going to lick his way back up to Jensen’s cock. Either Jared is going to decide, or Jeff is going to give him the direction, or Jensen is going to guide him back with his hands or his words.  
  
Then Jared’s tongue does drag against his asshole, broad and hot and wet. Jared groans so loudly, Jensen misses the sound of his own startled moan.  
  
Jared delivers a few more wide, maddening licks and no one tells him to stop; Jensen doesn’t tell him to stop, too shocked and too busy squirming at the easy, filthy glide.   
  
He buries his face into the pillow, unable to catch his breath. The wet slide of Jared’s tongue isn’t cold or sick, the way Jensen always imagined it would be. Instead it’s a soft, dirty buzz, spreading thrills through Jensen’s spine.  
  
Thumbs trail down his ass, digging into the meat of his cheeks before spreading him further for Jared’s tongue. Just as Jensen gathers his voice, his strength to speak through the strange, confusing, amazing sensations, Jared wriggles the tip of his tongue inside and Jensen makes a sound he’s never made before in his life.  
  
Shocked little noises keep falling as they spring in his chest, drowning the sound of his own thoughts. Jared’s thumbs keep sliding closer to his asshole, spreading him wider, and the frantic thought that Jared’s fingers might join his tongue spreading wildlife through Jensen’s hole overwhelms Jensen’s senses.  
  
He’s never felt anything like this before. He’s never felt so good.  
  
The blunt tips of Jared’s fingers scrape his spit-slick rim. The feeling of filed fingernails ghosting over his hole is more intense than Jensen ever imagined. It doesn’t hurt, not even a little bit, not the way it did when his first boyfriend pressed the tip of his thumb against Jensen’s ass. It just feels amazing, incredible, so god damn good -  
  
“Oh fuck,” Jensen cries. He throws an arm over his eyes, tries to control his body and block the overwhelming sensations.  
  
Jared manages to push his thumbs just a little deeper to softly, slowly, open Jensen for more of his tongue. Heat bites harder and harder at Jensen’s skin as Jared presses deeper inside of him.  
  
For a moment, Jared pulls his tongue out. Jensen can’t help the frustrated whine he makes, the way his hips chase the muscle without thinking. Then Jared pushes in again, over and over like he’s trying to funnel deeper inside of Jensen, make a warm, wet space for himself. The thrusts of his tongue become quicker, harder, more determined, like he’s fucking Jensen with his tongue – oh God, like he's fucking him -  
  
“Stop,” Jensen pants – whimpers. “Gotta – you gotta stop."  
  
“What’s wrong?” Jared asks, eyes roaming over Jensen, alarm evident on his face.  
  
“Nothing – nothing, you just – ”  
  
“Why’d you ask me to stop?”  
  
There are several answer Jensen could give, all of which are less shameful and more conducive to finishing the film than the truth. His synapses are going haywire though, and his body is buzzing, and his orgasm is lying just below his skin, just close enough to the oceanic surface to see the sunlight but not feel it.  
  
“Because I’m gonna come,” Jensen says, raw and pitiful. “I wanna come inside you,” he adds in a whisper.  
  
“You – fuck, you were gonna come like that?”  
  
Jensen wants to deny his own confession, but there’s no point, so he doesn’t say anything.  
  
Jared rubs one of his thumbs over Jensen’s spit soaked hole, and Jensen can’t not moan, can’t not press into it. Jared’s breath and lips are hot against his skin as Jared speaks low and dirty, teasing but awed. “You really were, weren’t you? Come from just my tongue?”  
  
Jensen tries to shake his head, but Jared’s words are falling over him like a hot touch, caressing his aching cock, his swollen balls, sinking like Jared’s thumb into his licked out asshole. He’s trembling under the sensations, too new, too much, and white hot pleasure is rising in his belly, and he's so close that if Jared's thumb sinks deeper, if Jared licks him again, if Jared doesn't stop talking, he’s going to - he's going to -  
  
“You were gonna come just from having your pussy licked?”  
  
And then Jensen is coming. Pleasure rips through him, sunders him into shuddering pieces, and he cries out low and loud as come spills over his stomach.  
  
"Holy shit."  
  
Panting and trembling and so god damn embarrassed, Jensen buries his face into the pillow.  
  
"...I think that's a scene," Jeff says. "Cut. Jesus fuckin’ Christ, cut."  
  
-  
  
Scene Three  
  
The muscles in Jensen’s stomach flutter under Jared’s tongue. Jared is tracing his navel, lapping the mixture of fake come Ty sprayed on his belly to solder the gaps between scenes – between Jensen spilling hot and desperate over his stomach with nothing but Jared’s breath on his ass and the barest kiss of Jared’s thumbs in his hole, between Jensen hurrying off set to wipe the come from his belly and try to cool the flush burnt into his cheeks.  
  
Jensen should be participating: petting or twisting Jared’s hair, groaning, telling him to bring that fat cock to Jensen’s mouth so Jensen can milk him crazy with his lips and throat. He isn’t.  
  
Get it together, he tells himself.   
  
With a calming breath, he readies the new line Misha fed him. He slips his fingers in Jared’s hair and gently tugs. “Tommy,” he rasps. “C’mon, wanna – wanna suck you off.” Jared kisses his way up to Jensen’s mouth. He licks at it, tries to tongue his way inside; Jensen doesn’t let him. He just breathes, “Gonna show you how good it can be."  
  
Jensen waits for Jared to sit against the headboard and spread those strong thighs wide, but instead Jared kneels, thick dick jutting obscenely. His fingers brush across Jensen’s cheek, thumb tapping Jensen’s bottom lip.  
  
“Just go with it, Jen.”  
  
It’s Jeff’s voice, but it’s Jared touch, so soft, guiding Jensen to his side so he can lap at the red hot head of Jared’s cock. The skin is soft, smells clean and dark with Jared’s sweat. Jensen licks along the slit a few more times just to savor the taste, the scent, before taking Jared's dick in his mouth.  
  
“Oh my God.” Jared’s voice is high and breathless as Jensen swallows him. “Oh my God, Luke, you can – oh fuck. You can take it all. She couldn’t – no one’s ever, ever been able to - ”  
  
Jared sounds almost like he’s speaking from experience, but Jensen reminds himself it’s just a line.   
  
He hollows his cheeks and hums around the too hot flesh. He shifts on his shoulder, trying to take Jared impossibly deeper, and Jared groans wildly as he does. Jensen feels a sense of smug satisfaction in the helpless twitch of Jared’s hips. Deeper in his bones, he feels a heavy thrum of arousal that never quite disippated. His own cock is plumping between his thighs.  
  
Jared starts to thrust into his sucks. He curls one hand around the sharp cut of Jared’s hipbone, but there’s too much sweat and his fingers keep slip-sliding and he can’t still the pumping of Jared’s hips.  
  
He tries to suck hard when Jared jerks deeper, lick the head of Jared’s cock when he jerks away, and his timing is awkward but working until Jared runs his fingertips through his hair. That tender feeling buzzes through him again and he loses his rhythm. His mouth is just hanging open, which apparently works just fine for Jared, because he fucks in deep to Jensen’s throat. His thrusts are steady, dick following the same ryhthym as Jared's tongue in his asshole, and it’s just as good.  
  
Jensen swallows hard around Jared’s cock. There’s a buzz in his brain telling him to take back control, but the ripples of want in his body rush so much louder. It’s freeing and fucking hot, the way Jared is just taking, the way his obscene, thickly veined cock keeps sliding like pulsing silk over Jensen's tongue, how he seems to trust that Jensen can take it all.  
  
Jensen, he realizes as Jared’s cockhead bumps the back of his throat, trusts Jared, too; trusts him not to pump too hard or fast, not to hurt him.  
  
Groaning, Jared holds him still as he slips his cock out. Jensen is supposed to rim him now, but his mouth is aching empty without Jared’s dick.   
  
Jared chuckles breathlessly above him. “Thought you wanted to eat my ass, too?”   
  
Jensen knows he should deliver his line, spread Jared out, finish the scene. But he doesn’t want to. He wants Jared’s cock in him again, wants Jared groaning above him and petting his hair, wants –  
  
“Want you to fuck me,” Jensen rasps.  
  
The words unfold as a black hole, devouring oxygen and sound. Jensen’s universe narrows to the wide wild flutter of Jared’s eyes and the open pant of his mouth.  
  
“You want me to fuck your mouth?"  
  
Jared's voice is quivering, his entire body is trembling, and Jensen is reminded that Jared wants, just as badly and fiercely as he does, maybe even more so. Jared wants and is offering a way around the desperate words Jensen wasn't able to stop from babbling.  
  
Something deeper than lust guides Jensen to his knees, pushes his body flush against Jared's, cocks brushing with slick friction and heat.   
  
"Tommy," he breathes, fluttering his lips and lashes, watching Jared clench his jaw.  
  
Jared's body is so tense, as if it's taking everything in him not to press Jensen to the bed and take what Jensen never meant to offer. Jensen drops his hand to their cocks. The hand not gripping the headboard comes to grip Jensen's wrist, stilling him even as Jared jerks helplessly against his fingers.   
  
Jared looks wild and desperate, so beautiful, but Jensen doesn't want to tame it. He doesn't want to spread Jared's fresh and raw desire out for the camera, doesn't want to take it for the money he's being paid. He wants to drown in it.  
  
"Tommy," he says again, softly. "I want you to fuck me."  
  
Jared makes a noise somewhere between a whimper and a growl, needy and wanton, and siezes Jensen's mouth in a kiss.  
  
-  
  
Scene Three, Take Two  
  
There were butterflies in Jensen's stomach when he laid on the prep cot. Not the cold, twisting anxiety that had been nipping at him all day, but an excited, terrifying flutter that had him asking himself what the fuck he was doing and clenching his ass in anticipation.  
  
He'd been nothing more than a bundle of nerves when the door opened. The thought of Ty prepping him, of it being Ty's fingers to first stretch him open, had him tensing. But it hadn't been Ty's voice soothing him when he'd tensed, and when he looked over his shoulder, it was Jared's dimpled grin greeting him.  
  
Now Jared has three fingers twisting deep in Jensen's asshole, further awakening a hunger Jensen has never felt.  
  
They're back on set but it somehow feels as intimate, as quiet and still and calm, as it did when Jared was fingering him open in the prep room. Jensen is trying to call his inner-pornstar back to the surface, put on a show for the cameras, for Jared, but the most he's managing is shallow thrusts back onto Jared's fingers and moans muffled into the comforter.  
  
"So fuckin' tight," Jared mouths against his shoulder. He's draped over Jensen's back, fingers moving in and out with crooks that brush the nub Jensen never imagined would feel so amazing. "Feel so fuckin' good, God - God damn."  
  
These aren't any lines Misha wrote on the fly; Jensen doesn't think these are lines at all. The quiver and groan Jared gives when Jensen pushes into his fingers, the broken way he says, "Gonna feel so good," is too raw.  
  
"Ever let anyone fuck you? You haven't, have you? Ass too tight to have ever been fucked."  
  
"No," Jensen says, word coming out a gasp as Jared hits his prostate again.   
  
"Can't believe I'm the first," Jared whispers. "God, I can't - don't deserve it, I don't - "  
  
Jensen twists as much as he can to catch Jared's eyes. "Tommy," he hisses, halting the same words Jared had been tripping over before he'd slid that first finger inside. Something about how he didn't deserve what Jensen was giving him, something about having to tell Jensen...something, but Jensen had stopped his rambling with a single question of his own. "Can I trust you?" he asks, the same hard tone he used in the prep room.  
  
Jared bites his lip and nods, eyes earnest. He stretches to lick at Jensen's mouth, not a real kiss, just a slick, hot movement that has Jensen clenching around his fingers again. Jared's eyes flutter closed and his cheek drops against Jensen's, his skin smooth and soft, and Jensen presses back.   
  
"Fuck me," Jensen pants, pressing back on Jared's fingers before sliding forward, humping his throbbing cock against the mattress. The movement is pure, wanton instinct  
  
Jensen nearly stops breathing when the thick head of Jared's cock brushes the swell of his ass. He folds his arms underneath him, letting his chest fall to the bed and his back arch. Jared's breath catches. Tentative fingers brush the dip of his spine, trailing the arch with a soft, reverent touch.  
  
Warm palms slide to his ass. Jared rubs the skin soothingly and Jensen makes an impatient noise. He doesn't need to be reassured anymore. He needs to be fucked. There is a phantom fullness in his ass from Jared's thick, perfect fingers but it's a tease, only highlighting how empty Jensen is inside.  
  
He's never wanted this, never in his life, and now he wants it so badly he's grinding his teeth and dick into the mattress.  
  
Jared’s cock presses against his stretched rim. Jensen melts at the feeling, chases the promise of fullness as Jared rubs his dick along the crease of Jensen's ass.  
  
"God," Jared chokes, sounds like he's dying. "You really want it, don't you? Want me? Never had a cock before but you're - fuck, look at you. You want it so bad."  
  
Jensen thinks the words should piss him off; he's not some needy little bottom, except he is, needy and eager and so ready to get Jared's cock in him that all he can do is pant and push his ass back.  
  
The first press of Jared’s dick burns, and for a terrifying moment Jensen is afraid the prep wasn't enough. His little virgin hole isn't going to be able to swallow every fat, delicious inch of Jared's porn star cock, and he's going to stay empty forever.  
  
Frustration is boiling fierce in his brain. Hot, stupid tears bite his eyes. He finally decides he wants a good, hard dicking, finally finds a guy who is clearly aching to make that good, hard dicking the best thing he's ever felt, and his idiot ass isn't going to open up for it. His body is going to be stubborn and stupid and he's never going to feel Jared's cock tearing and piecing him back together.  
  
Then Jared pushes forward with quick and heavy pressure, and the head of his cock pops past the tight rim of Jensen's asshole.  
  
"Oh, fuck, so fucking tight." Jared pauses, panting. "How's that feel?"  
  
Jensen just says, "More."  
  
It takes forever and no time at all for Jared to finally bottom out. His hips bite into Jensen's skin and his balls press against Jensen's own. Jared's thick cock, made for this, for splitting Jensen open so god damn good, leaves no room for anything but Jensen's heavy breathing and the steady oh God, oh God, oh God beating in his head.  
  
Jared fingers are digging hard into Jensen's hips, trembling, and Jensen knows he wants to move. Wants to, and isn't, letting Jensen learn to breathe around the cock that's deep inside.   
  
"Move," Jensen says. When Jared hesitates, he adds, "Please." He squeezes his eyes against the embarrassment that washes over him. He's never sounded like this, never wanted or been desperate like this. With a shuddering breath, he rocks his ass into Jared's hips. "Please, man. Fuck me."  
  
Jared groans brokenly before his grip on Jensen's hips tightens. He fucks in shallow and slow at first. Jensen pushes into every thrust. It's so good, Jensen almost doesn't want Jared to pick up the pace, but when Jared does start moving quicker, deeper, it's even better than those first sweet thrusts.  
  
It's even better than fucking, getting fucked on Jared's thick cock. It's so much better. Jensen thinks he should feel unsettled by how much better, by how quickly Jared has molded him into a thirsty little hole, but he’s not.  
  
Jared's thrusts grow sharper and Jensen can barely keep up. Jared makes a frustrated noise and just starts yanking Jensen's hips, fucking Jensen and making Jensen fuck himself back onto Jared's dick at the same time.  
  
It's rougher, hotter, than Jensen expected Jared to be. Of course, Jared hasn't been anything he's expected.  
  
Suddenly Jared pulls out, leaving Jensen bereft and cold and keening. Jared doesn't speak; he just breathes harshly and pulls Jensen onto his knees, then yanks him backwards  
  
Jensen is so eager to get that cock back in his knees shake as he straddles Jared's thighs. He raises himself over Jared's dick, starts to drop down quickly. He's already sunk down a few glorious inches before Jared's hands grip his ass so harshly, so hotly, he has to stop.  
  
"Slow," Jared hisses.   
  
Jared's grip won't let him do anything but lower himself achingly gently until he's sitting flush on Jared's thighs. He can feel so much more of Jared, so much deeper inside of him.   
  
He rocks his hips forward, feeling clumsy and unsure. They both groan as Jensen finally realizes all he has to do is lean: forward, back, then forward again. It's easier to fall into a quick, hard rhythm than Jensen expected, and he starts to pitch his body as fast as he can, letting himself slam back onto Jared's cock.  
  
His cock is slapping against his belly as he bounces on Jared's dick. His eyes roll and he cries out as Jared grips his hips again.   
  
"You gonna come for me? Come on my cock?"  
  
Jensen nods, can't do anything else, and one of Jared's hands slide to grip his jaw and tip his head. He can feel the strain in his neck and throat as Jared angles him for a deep, messy kiss. Jared's tongue fucks him as deep as Jared's dick. Jared pulls away, and Jensen mindlessly chases his mouth.  
  
"So fuckin' hot," Jared murmurs.  
  
He slams Jensen onto him, so hard Jensen's entire body aches. Jensen tries to rock with the movements but Jared whispers, "Let me, let me get you there."   
  
Jensen nearly chokes, on his own want, the heat of Jared's words, the bruising thrusts of Jared's cock. But he remembers how good it was when Jared was sliding him over his lap, and lets himself go boneless.  
  
"Yeah," Jared moans, praising. "Yeah. Just let me fuck you."  
  
Jared mouths at his neck while he works Jensen like a ragdoll on his dick, keeps nailing that sparking spot inside of him. Jared forces him so far up the head of Jared's dick catches his rim, then forces him down so quickly color bursts behind Jensen's eyes. Jensen couldn't move now if he wanted to.  
  
Heat pools in his gut. A buzz settles heavy in his ear drums. His orgasm is right there, right fucking there, just on the tip of Jared's cock, and Jensen knows he's going to come at the next thrust. The next hit of Jared's cockhead to his prostate and he's going to spill all over himself again.  
  
"T-Tommy," he manages to cry as Jared slams him onto his dick. He comes hard, comes like his body is being torn apart and everything inside is pouring out of him.   
  
Jensen lulls in an overwhelming, chaotic daze. He barely registers the movement as Jared shoves him forward, so quickly and roughly he doesn’t have time to catch himself, falling on his cheek. He groans into the mattress. He feels boneless and spent; shameless, too, embarrassment fucked out of him, and he tries to arch his hips into Jared’s thrusts.  
  
But Jared pins him with a hand between his shoulders. “No, just – ” Jared practically growls. “Take it, God. Take it so fuckin’ pretty.”  
  
Jensen breathes through the rough snap of Jared’s dick, fucking him so deeply and harshly his body slides forward on the mattress. Jared slides his hands to grip Jensen’s hips and haul him back onto his cock.  
  
Jared fucks into him for a few more thrusts before pulling out. Jensen whimpers at the gaping emptiness it leaves. He hears Jared grunt, hears the sloppy wet sounds of Jared jerking himself off, and a moment later he feels hot come spill over his lower back.  
  
-  
  
The California sun is fading, spilling a smog distorted pallet across the sky. Jensen simmers in the evening color. His Jeep is warm against his back as he leans against the metal and takes a deep breath. He closes his eyes to the world.  
  
When he opens them, his heart jumps.   
  
"Sorry," Jared apologizes immediately. His smile is dazzling in the twilight, dimples and eyes and skin gleaming as he stands an arms length away. "Didn't mean to sneak up on you...again."  
  
Jensen returns the rueful smile. There is an awkward but pleasant buzz, heavy between them, anchoring their bellies and bringing Jensen away from the Jeep and a breath closer to Jared.   
  
"So, uh. I just wanted to say, wow." Jared laughs soft, almost to himself, and licks his lips. "I mean, thank you. And, also, wow, because...wow."  
  
"Yeah, well." Jensen's stomach twists, nervous like he's asking Cindy Davis to prom. "You were pretty...wow yourself."  
  
A few moments pass, Jared just watching him, Jensen just watching back, before Jared shifts his weight. Jensen is trying to reconcile the bumbling, adorable giant in front of him with the fire hot, gale wind force that fucked him stupid barely an hour ago. It takes him several moments of Jared's earnest, unwavering stare before he realizes Jared's been speaking.  
  
" - so I was wondering if you'd want to go with me. You know, as a thank you. For the most insane day ever."   
  
Jared's cheeks are flushed with color but there is no self-conscious gleam in his bright hazel eyes. There's only rawness, clear and open desire.   
  
"Sorry," Jensen mumbles, caught in Jared's gaze. "I didn't - um, where?"  
  
"This diner a couple blocks from my apartment. They have a chicken fried steak that makes you forget you're in California. I was hoping you'd let me take you to dinner."  
  
"I can't," Jensen says, angling for nonchalant and pleasant, flushing as he realizes Jared just asked him on a date. Disappointment dims Jared's expression, but doesn't darken it completely. "My ex is in town and I told her I'd take her out for her birthday. She's not really a chicken fried steak kinda chick."  
  
"Oh." Jared bites his lip before smiling again, a little strained. "That's really cool of you. That you're still friends with an ex."  
  
Jensen hesitates before speaking again. He doesn't sleep with co-stars outside of the studio; he certainly doesn't date them. Jared deserves full disclosure. Jensen can't seem to find the words of rejection in the gleam of Jared's shine, though. Unsure, Jensen shrugs and says, "Friends is kind of a... not exactly the right word. We're... I don't know. People who used to fuck who still fuck occasionally. Is there a word for that?"  
  
Jared's face crumbles at his words. Mentally, Jensen shakes himself. He wants to be honest with Jared, not hurt him. Before he can soothe the sting of his careless words, backtrack to explain that sex outside of work doesn't mean much more than it does in the studio but that he has lines he won't let himself cross, Jared is rubbing his neck again and forcing an awkward laugh.   
  
"I don't know. I've never - I mean, I wouldn't know." He pauses a moment before asking, "It's not weird? Having sex with an ex?"  
  
Angling for pleasant and nonchalant, Jensen says, "Saves me from having to buy her a birthday present." He winces, unprepared for how dick-ish the line appears.  
  
Then Jared says, bright and earnest, "My birthday is next week."  
  
It shocks a laugh from Jensen. Jared smiles.   
  
"So, look. You're busy tonight. What about tomorrow? This weekend?"  
  
Jared's unabashed press has Jensen grinning despite himself. He searches for the right words to disuade Jared without stinging him, but explinations and excuses keep falling through his throat.   
  
Jensen hasn't played by his own rules all day. He arrived on set unprepared, no idea who his scene partner was, and he gave himself to the undertow of sensation Jared ignited, and he let himself be touched and taken in ways he never wanted before. He didn't do anything he should have.   
  
Jared's not every other co-star Jensen's turned away, just like Jared's not every other guy whose tried to fuck him, fuck him over. Jared's something else entirely. Jensen wonders if he isn't something else now too.  
  
"Ask Gen for my number," Jensen tells him, heart beating fast, sweat coating his palm, nerves rushing in his ears. Jared's smile brightens, blinding. "You call me on your birthday, and I just might let you take me to dinner."  
  
His phone buzzes again. Feeling breathless, he slides it out of his pocket and answers, barely able to speak past a new crash of anticipation as he slides into his Jeep.  
  
Jensen doesn't turn his gaze back to Jared, but as he drives away, Danneel's voice low and soft in his hair, he catches Jared's reflection in the rear view mirror. Jared is grinning wide and dazzling as the sea, leaning against a car, one hand over his heart and the other wildly punching a number into his phone.   
  
Jensen shifts in his seat, ass sore and aching so good he wants to grind against the leather. He can't wait for Jared's birthday.


End file.
